We may think that our future is uncertain, but God already knows what it holds. Through the last week I have been preparing for my future in ways I never really expected to. Throughout the majority of my life I struggled with being suicidal and was never certain that I would have a future; however, even when I did my best to convince someone of a future I looked forward to, I always explained in detail immaculate plans for college, a career, a relationship. As life came hurtling toward me at full speed, I found myself disoriented at the coming of my future. Everything I planned for, everything I thought I wouldn't be here for, was suddenly at my door step and it wasn't about to stop knocking. The future comes in God's time, not ours. So no matter where you may be in life, no matter where you think you "should" be in life, welcome this day with open arms. So, there I am, terror on my face, opening my trembling arms to whatever this unknown future holds, I take a shaky breath and a leap of faith. I found myself landing in God's arms once again. My future still seems uncertain, but I have peace surrounding it all. As for college, I am starting trade school in November to become a nail tech. I have reconnected with an old friend to room with and am currently looking for an apartment near my school. Career plan? Something in the beauty industry I hope, but only God knows when and where. And if we are going to bring up relationship... I am still working on being myself. My heart Is, and always will, belong to God. And until the day that my dad walks me down the isle he will still be the man in my life. I strive to someday have a family. God has promised me a family of my own; but I need to trust that a relationship, a family, will come in his time... not mine. We need to have grace not only for others but for ourselves. We do not completely control our futures, our feelings, or the people in our lives. There is no place that you "should" be in life right now. Stop living for the "next big moment", start living in this moment. Be you. Be who God calls you to be, where God calls you to be. Do not be so focused on what the world (or your family and friends) say about what you should or shouldn't be doing with your life that you overlook every vision, every word, every promise God has given you. You were made for something so much greater than you or anyone in your life could ever imagine! We lack the vision to see a world so great, to see the "big picture". Trust in God to handle that. Focus on the here and now. Focus on your emotions, your thoughts, your reactions. Focus on God's voice. Focus on the souls around you. Listen to the music of the world. Listen to the words in your heart. The future will never come without the now.
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