God asked me to start reading Job. Great, I get to read one of the most depressing books in the Bible! A couple days into reading I found out an old friend of mine was murdered. Everyone always says "that'll never happen to you or someone you know!" but that stuff has been happening too much in my life. My great aunt was murdered, my aunt committed suicide, two people in my high school committed suicide, now, an old friend. I began asking God "what next?" I felt like Job.
We often focus on the fact that Job had everything taken away and yet still turned to God. What we lack to notice is that Job didn't just go "It's okay God, I still love you!" Rather, he questioned what he had done wrong. He blamed himself for the turmoil. We often find ourselves drowning in what ifs and regrets when things like murder and suicide or even natural death come upon a loved one. Like Job we often find ourselves blaming; sometimes we blame God, sometimes we blame ourselves. We fall into grief and dwell there. We have this idea that we have to do it on our own.
Job 8:8-9 "For ask the previous generation, and pay attention to what their fathers discovered, since we were born only yesterday and know nothing."
We were never meant to fight our battles alone. God has placed people on this earth to help guide us through what they know. Many before us have fought these battles, ask them for war strategies; they have already survived what you are going through.
It is okay to grieve, it is okay to allow yourself to feel emotions and break down at any given point. But do not dwell in that place. Trust God to take you forward to the next step in life no matter how painful it may be.
When you feel like Job, keep in mind that our God carries a bigger stick. The devil may think he has won, but our God is greater, stronger, wiser. Do not forget your place, you are a child of the king and nothing less. God's got this!
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