Roots

A lot has happened in the last few days. I finally found some answers. "For she had built her faith upon a rock which was strong but did not grow the seed which was sewn into her; and little did she know that the seed was meant to grow into a tree and plant her roots of faith strong into the ground to be unmovable and bare fruits." This is the word I got on Friday night at the Encounter conference; it opened my eyes. most of my life I have been back and forth on the whole God thing. I now realize that I was building my faith upon everything that my family had taught me and upon the feeling of freedom in surrender. And yes, while that foundation is strong like a rock I had yet to find my own faith and plant the roots that were meant to grow from the seed that the people in my life had planted so many years ago. I have found that in order to grow my roots I need to believe in more than the feeling of His presence. I need to have the knowledge to build my faith upon. I need to study the theology behind Christianity. I need to study the Bible. I need to dive into worship wholeheartedly. I need to find answers in places I never bothered to look before. This time I am building my faith upon a rock and growing its roots like a tree so that someday it may bare fruits. This time I'm making my faith my own. I refuse to back down this time. I am so sick and tired of fighting what I was made to be. I can't go back again and again. I need to put trust in God and in myself. This time I'm not letting go.