Though anxiety lives within me so does my God. Learning to have grace for myself is something I have always struggled with. Being gracious and kind to others seems to come naturally to me majority of the time; but when I look in the mirror I find it so difficult to let myself just be. In the midst of an anxiety attack the last thing I tend to do is is allow myself to be gracious. I look for what triggered it, was it my fault, and what's wrong with me? When I'm having a depressive episode I always find the worst things to think toward myself, I write it down or run it in my head on repeat like a broken record. Sometimes it's easier to have grace when someone else did something. Maybe they were running late, maybe they have a bad attitude. But it seems much simpler to think to yourself "maybe they're having a rough day." "maybe there's something going on with their family." and give them grace then move on. When it comes to you it is important to find little victories in your life to celebrate rather than torturing yourself over your mistakes. You deserve grace from others and yourself. So rather than running your mistakes through your mind over and over again, I urge you to look into your heart where God stands ready to help; and listen to what he has to say about you. I guarantee that with time you will slowly learn to see yourself through God's eyes; and he has so much grace for you. Jesus has so much grace and forgiveness for you that was willing to be beaten, hung on a cross and left for dead, risen again to wash away every single mistake that you have ever made. His grace reaches to the heavens so that God sees you as perfect, wonderfully and beautifully made. Through his eyes you deserve grace, ridiculous amounts of grace. Let the Lord speak to your heart when you have no grace for yourself and learn from him how to love you. It's not always easy; and I'm still learning too. Step out on this self love journey with me. Step out in love, step out in grace, step out with confidence into the light that the Lord has provided. One step at a time we will conquer our fears, self doubts, and anxieties. Remember, you are loved so much more that you could ever imagine.
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