Camp. Last year at summer camp God freed me from my eating disorder. I went into this year with great expectations. The theme this year was "Beyond" and God definitely went beyond my expectations. So, night one rolls around and God really convicted me of something I had been hiding. I was in a relationship that I knew wasn't right but I so badly wanted it to be. I walked in a lie and hid the relationship from the people that I knew would say something. I finally fessed up to my cabin and broke off the relationship. The second day God convicted me of my music. My music was something I related to in my pain. My music sang of pain and of sorrow, not of healing and praise. So I deleted all of my playlists that were not worship. And I asked friends to hold me accountable to keeping my music deleted. Wednesday rolled around and some amazing things happened. The Holy spirit was moving in the room in such a powerful way that people were breaking out in laughter. People's souls were being healed of deep and dark wounds. And I missed all of it. I was told of the sounds and experiences that happened that night but I didn't hear a single sound of it. I was so engulfed in the Holy Spirit myself that I missed everything going on around me. But let's back it up to the beginning of the service. Right before worship as we gathered outside, a bee stung my foot. I am allergic to bees. however, I didn't want to miss worship. We walk in and my anxiety is high. I do my best to ignore my thoughts and just worship through it but I'm not feeling it. At this point my foot is so swollen I had to take off my shoe. So I pray, over and over again, "Lord, send your spirit upon me" I cried out "I just want to feel your presence!" "Help me to ignore this pain to I can worship you!" I suddenly found myself on my knees and i don't remember getting there. Our conversation then began as I was sucked into my own little world, just me and Jesus. We spoke about the little things for a while. Through this conversation I found myself lying on the floor and still anxiety rang in the back of my head and I then heard God tell me something I did not want to hear. "You have to end that friendship." I was confused and mad at God, "but Lord she is my best friend!" I began to sob as emotions whirled inside me. I yelled at God in confusion and anger and sorrow. Then, I hear his voice again. "Daughter, rest in my peace." over and over again I heard him repeat himself "rest in my peace." The weight of these emotions lifted of my shoulders and laid there in a cocoon of his Love and peace. By the end of the night I had realized my bee sting was gone. And when I got back to the cabin everyone talked about the night that I had completely missed.
Comments